


Kintsugi

by wxnterxsxldier



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Cheating, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Heartbreak, Hurt No Comfort, Insecurity, Moving On
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-15
Updated: 2019-12-15
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:15:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21833548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wxnterxsxldier/pseuds/wxnterxsxldier
Summary: After an encounter the Winter Soldier Rowan realizes that she’ll always be second best when it came to Peggy, she’d never be enough for Steve to love her alone. Little by little, crack by crack she begins to look elsewhere for love and she finds it……. in the Winter Soldier himself. The two fill the holes in their hearts with gold and make something beautiful from something broken.
Relationships: Bruce Banner/Natasha Romanov, Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov, James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader, James "Rhodey" Rhodes & Tony Stark, Steve Rogers/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	Kintsugi

**Author's Note:**

> I’d install Interactive Fics to change Y/N and L/N to the name(s) of your choice! It helps with the reading process I find. This fic features female pronouns. All flashbacks will be in italics and divided for ease and the song of the chapter is Does She Know? by Astrid S.

Y/N never anticipated to fall for Steve, it was never in her plans to talk to her mother about him for hours on end, with her older brother chiming in about Steve’s “Star Spangled Ding Dong.” 

She never expected to wake up in his muscular arms and feel his chin atop her head, inhaling her scent. His slightly chapped lips brushing against hers until the kisses become feverish and they get lost in each other under the warm sunrise. Their bodies painted shades of pink and gold, hair brightened in the daylight and eyes darkened with lust as you two move in harmony.

Y/N certainly never expected to love him so much and then slowly lose him to Peggy Carter one day at a time. Little by little, each instance breaking her heart a tiny bit more each time.

* * *

“You doin’ alright Kitten? You seem a million miles away?” Steve asks as he plants on Y/N’s cheek, pulling her from her thoughts. **  
**

Instantly she plasters a smile on her face, the same one that made Steve’s heart skip a beat. He ‘s noticed that her don’t shine the same when he looks at her, they’ve been getting duller and duller as time went on, and he doesn’t know why. It hurt him to know that something was wrong and he couldn’t fix it, he’d ask but the answer was always the same, “I’m fine Honey, just tired is all.” With a smile on her beautiful face he would only give her a false smile in return and leave to punch his frustrations away.

Deep down he _knew_ why this happened, what _he_ did to cause a rift between them but he couldn’t face it so he pushed it down, so deep that when his world is crumbling down, he won’t know who’s to blame even though it’s _his_ fault.

“I’m fine Honey, just tired is all.” She replied with a smile, this time Steve only nodded and went on his way. When he was out of view Y/N's smile fell away and she was drawn back to her thoughts, the hollow feeling in her chest returns as her thoughts drifted back to when the feeling started.

_After picking up Sitwell the five of them stopped for snacks, Y/N had gotten little churro bites and spent her time in the back seat eating them, occasionally handing ones to the other people in the car. Each time Steve was fed a churro bite he’d always say, “Thanks Kitten.” making Y/N blush and the cars other occupants groan at the couples antics even though they had been together for a year. Just as Y/N finishes giving Sitwell his third churro bite he was ripped from the vehicle._

_“Holy shit, his ass flew!” She screeched, pulling a pistol from its holster. A S.H.I.E.L.D agent of two years Y/N L/N has garnered a reputation for being a great marksman, a very funny and thoughtful person as well as the maker of the **best** lasagna in the whole agency, a huge hit at the company potluck. The same gloved hand knocks the small bag of churro bites from Y/N’s hand as she moves to put them into her bag for later. _

_“I know damn well this bitch didn’t just knock my $10 churro bites to the damn ground! SAM PULL THE FUCK OV-” Y/N never finishes as the steering-wheel is ripped from it’s rightful place._

_“SHIT!” Sam yelled, Y/N and Natasha climbing to the front of the vehicle, weapons at the ready, shooting the top of the car._

_The car swerves as Sam slams the brakes. The four of them climb out of the car to see a man dressed in all black, eyes lined with kohl as black as the night sky, making his blue eyes startlingly bright. His metal arm shines blindingly bright in the sunlight, the red star catching Y/N’s attention._

_“Well, well, well the one and only Winter Soldier. Ya know, I thought you’d be taller.” Y/N says with a smile, cocking her gun and firing at the man._

_He deflects the bullets as he rushes her, before he can reach her Steve pushed them both out of the way to safety. A clank made the two look for the source of the noise and Y/N could practically hear Steve’s heart stop._

_It was his compass, it laid a few feet away, wide open. The portrait of Peggy Carter staring them in the face.Y/N never minded Steve’s attachment to the compass and Peggy but what he did next struck Y/N to her very core. It was so very brief, but to Y/N it felt like it was a lifetime._

_He let her go._

_Steve let Y/N go to hurriedly retrieve his compass and as Natasha and Sam kept the Winter Soldier at bay with their weapons. He brushed his thumb across her photo._

_Instead of protecting Y/N he protected Peggy, the woman who had moved on from him but he couldn’t move on from her.It was at that moment Y/N realized that she would never be enough, although she tried so very hard to be. She would never be Peggy Carter and Steve would never love her the way she loved him, the way he loved Peggy._

_CRACK!_

* * *

The first break of many, the many breaks that would leave her big heart a shell of what it once was.

Y/N brings herself back and wipes the tears that have fallen down her face as she remembers where the hallowing of her heart began.

“I’ll never be enough, she had him from the start.” She cries softly, the moments crash together in a blur. 

_“I love you, only you.” CRACK_

_“I’ll always love her Y/N. But know that I love you more.” CRACK_

_“Never got that dance.” CRACK_

_“I love you so much Peggy!” CRAAAA-_

_SNAP!_

“I’ll always be second best when it comes to Steve’s love, I refuse to stay someone’s second best.” She whispers, standing up and silently heading out of the compound with a bag in hand and not looking back until the moon was behind her. It was all going well...until she felt herself being grabbed, shot full of something and it all went black.

* * *

After what felt like forever the veil of darkness was lifted and there he stood. The man who although by accident, showed her the truth. James Buchanan Barnes: The Winter Soldier, standing above her with a bag of churros in his hand.

“H-hi. I’m Bucky, remember me?”


End file.
